Holding on to Anger by Elizabeth Hendricks

Everyone encounters painful events, misunderstandings, even betrayals.

There is just no way to go through life without being hurt from time to time.

The ideal is to learn from the experience, integrate it and move forward in your life.

But It is hard to completely deal with painful past events, and  we wind up with old wounds and scars that have never quite healed.  We become pessimistic about the future, and angry that life has dealt us such blows.

However, remember that anger always exists in conjunction with pain. In fact, anytime you encounter an angry person you can be assured that underneath an anger is hurt. The hurt causes us to lash out at others.

Once you have processed a trauma, the emotional loading goes away.  You can remember the event factually, but it no longer has the power to unhinge your emotions and swamp you.

The point is not so much about forgiving the other person as it is about making peace with the fact that we have been hurt.  That does not make it all right that the other person caused you pain.  It means you have made peace with the reality of your history.

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